


Hold my hand, dont be scared

by StubbornSkylar



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Gay Panic, M/M, a few bad words but nothing too bad, honestly it's just cute, honestly really soft, in this house we stan soft seongsang, seonghwa is great, yeosang is baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22786351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StubbornSkylar/pseuds/StubbornSkylar
Summary: Honestly, who would want to be with someone who's natural state was panic? To be more precisely gay panic.Hell, was he wrong on that oneOr, how Seonghwa really enjoys seeing Baby Yeosang in full on gay panic mode.
Relationships: Kang Yeosang/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 1
Kudos: 131





	Hold my hand, dont be scared

**Author's Note:**

> Usually, I would write a long disclaimer here about how all of this is just fiction, nothing to do with the real people, but I feel like yall know that, so imma just say have fun with this cute little baby  
> Also, I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes, it's not beta read and I'm not a native speaker.

It must be common knowledge within the band by now that Kang Yeosang has the biggest crush in the history of crushes on the oldest, Seonghwa. And honestly, how could he not? Seonghwa was literally perfection. Not only was he about the prettiest hand hottest human to ever walk the earth, no, even worse, he was also absolutely husband material. He was the kind of person who would cut your children's breakfast into nice little shapes so they would grin when the find it at school and Yeosangs poor little heart just didn't know how to handle it.  
The only thing worse than his probably really obvious crush was the fact that Seonghwa could never feel the same way. Yeosang was sure that he wasn't at all his hyung´s type. He was just a little too shy and a little too, well, too baby for him. Honestly, who would want to be with someone who's natural state was panic? To be more precisely gay panic.  
Hell, was he wrong on that one  
Or, how Seonghwa really enjoys seeing Baby Yeosang in full on gay panic mode.  
The first time it happened what in the Band Van on their way to dance practice. Yeosang had sat down at the window in the furthest back row and Seonghwa had sat down next to him. Nothing special, they sat net to each other all the time. What wasn't normal however was for Seonghwa to casually rest his hand on Yeosangs thigh like it was nothing. Yeosang, however, froze immediately under the touch. He shot a glance down and holy shit he hadn't noticed how long and perfect those fingers were. Hadn't he been in an absolute state of panic, he probably would have imagined these fingers at other places, but well, he was still tensed up and gaping at the hand in disbelieve when he felt Seonghwas eyes on him.  
Hell, he knew he should move or at least relax, but no can do. Then, suddenly, The taller boy started moving his thumb over the inside of his thigh in what should have been soothing motions, but Yeosang nearly squealed and had to stop himself from bolting off his seat.  
Holy. Fucking. Shit.  
How was he supposed to handle this? That's when he remembered breathing was actually an option. So he took a deep breath and tried to calm down. And he did eventually. He relaxed under Seonghwas touch. Actually, it was quite a nice feeling. Hell, the things he would do for this to mean something. It couldn't. It just couldn't mean something. Because honestly, how could it…  
Over the next few weeks, the entire hands on thigh thing seemed to become kind of a routine and Yeosang found himself longing for the feeling when it wasn't there. The entire situation was probably getting out of control. If his feelings for Seonghwa hadn't been obvious before the sure were now. At least to everyone except the oldest. There was no way he would keep all this going if he knew what he made Yeosang feel. Honestly, Yeosang felt a little bad about not just straight up telling his friend. He felt selfish, but he couldn't give this up. Not if this was all he'd ever get.  
However, things started to change when Yeosang fell into a bad case of insomnia. There was no real reason behind it except maybe that he lay awake at night overthinking and avoiding the dreams he knew he'd just get lost in. His body ran mostly on Coffee and Energy drinks and if his members noticed, they didn't bring it up.  
That was until one movie night at the dorms. Yeosang had captured the smallest sofa and everyone else had spread across the other couches. Well, except Seonghwa. He had sat down right next to Yeosang. And Yeosang, who hadn't slept in an entire week hardly even noticed. All he knew was that a few minutes into the movie his brain shut down and his eyes fell shut.  
He woke up a little later, according to the dialogue coming from the TV still in the movie. But then he heard other voices.  
“If he doesn't wake up can we pour water over him?” it sounded a lot like Jongho  
“If you wake him up, Jongho, I swear, I will break your neck” that was Seonghwas voice coming from above him.  
Wait-  
Above him?  
Then he realized that he was lying sideways on the sofa, his head in someone's, probably Seonghwas lap. Holy heck how did he end up here  
“He hasn't slept in what seems like a week you let him sleep now or I will end your entire career. So at least Seonghwa had noticed. Thank the lord for this man.  
His head was running all kind of praises when suddenly  
Holy FUCK  
That were Seonghwas hands in his hair, slowly brushing strands from his forehead and softly massaging his scalp.  
Yeosang was really torn between screaming and fucking moaning of how good it felt after a week of sleep deprivation driven headache. But he didn't get to do any of it (which was probably for the best) because Seonghwa spoke up again  
“He must feel like shit. I am honestly just happy that he even got to sleep and I will do whatever I can to keep him sleeping, so don't try me”  
Shit, he sounded so serious. Yeosang couldn't help but feel like the warning wasn't just for the others, but for him as well, so instead of trying to fight the sleep that had been trying to lure him back, he just let go and fell asleep again.  
He hardly noticed that he was being carried to bed later and that he was rested on someone's (Seonghwas) chest and if when he moved slightly to get into a more comfortable position Seonghwas heartbeat seemed to stutter, he clearly wouldn't remember when he woke up the next day.  
It became some sort of routine for them, Yeosang falling asleep in Seonghwas lap, Seonghwa carrying him to bed but already being gone when the younger woke up the next day. It was getting harder and harder for Yeosang to conceal his feelings. He felt it getting harder and harder not to stare at his Hyung and hell, even Seonghwa with his metaphorical blinkers must have realized how Yeosang couldn't fall asleep without Seonghwa.  
It wasn't until a week later that Something happened that made Yeosang realize, maybe, just maybe, Seonghwa did actually know all this already.  
Nearly everyone had left the dorm to do whatever, only Yeosang and Seonghwa had stayed behind. They were Curled up on the sofa together watching some kind of shitty romcom they both had already seen, but it was OK. Seonghwa was sitting on one side of the Sofa, his legs propped up on a few cushions, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Yeosang what sitting with his legs crossed and his hands resting on each side of the couch.  
It wasn't until half an hour into the movie until IT happened. He heard Seonghwa shift next to him and the-  
Holy-  
HOLY!  
Seonghwas hand, more precisely his pinky, was brushing against it and the older didn't make any attempts to move it away. Yeosangs head was racing. Was he supposed to move his hand away? Or was he supposed to make a move and test the boundaries of their already fragile friendship? His heart must have beaten so loud he was sure Seonghwa must have heard. Then, a thought crossed his mind. What if Seonghwa knew? What if he, just like Yeosang, was testing their friendship? What if what has happened in the past few weeks was Seonghwa making moves on him?  
He hated how unlikely those thoughts sounded, but now he had hope, the had to at least try. So he carefully Pushed his pinky against Seonghwas.  
To his surprise, Seonghwa answered immediately by pushing his fingers over the younger´s. Yeosangs heart was racing so fast it might just jump right out of his chest. He Slightly turned his hand so his palm was facing up and really, really carefully linked his fingers with Seonghwas.  
He looked over to his friend -was that even still the right term?-, who was still looking at the TV screen, but now, he had a small smile spread across his lips.  
Luckily, they didn't get to talk about it that night -Yeosang really wasn't ready for that jut yet – because he fell asleep before.  
The next morning when he woke up, something was different. It took him a moment to realize what it was.  
Oh damn.  
Seonghwa was still with him. Yeosang had his head on Seonghwas chest, their legs were tangled and he had one arm draped over the older. And Damn, it was nice waking up like this. He could feel Seonghwas warmth and even better, he could hear his heartbeat. It was slow and steady and extremely calming.  
Yeosang really couldn't help it, he shuffled even closer, nuzzling into Seonghwa just a bit more.  
He heard the older´s heartbeat stutter. Seonghwa was awake. Even worse, he must know that Yeosang was too.  
“Sangie?” he whispered, “you awake?”  
Shit  
Fuck  
Damn  
No  
Help  
He was not ready for this conversation.  
But It was Seonghwa- his friend who had been with him through so much- who had always calmed him down- who he was in love with.  
Fuck ready.  
“mhm” he hummed in response  
He felt Seonghwas heartbeat speed up  
“Sangie, can we talk?” He should be afraid, honestly, he was, but Seonghwas warmth kept him grounded.  
“Okay,” he mumbled.  
Seonghwa turned slightly towards him so that Yeosang slightly rolled off his chest and they were facing each other. However, He made no attempts to untangle their legs or removing Yeosangs arm that was still draped over him. That was a good sign.  
“Sangie, I” He swallowed “I really hope that I got this right, I think I do, but I'm gonna be real, I'm really scared that I was wrong on this, but” he trailed off slightly, biting his bottom lip.  
“I like you, Sangie. And I think you might like me too, but i-” He exhaled shakily. “I'm so scared of fucking up. I need to know, Sangie. Do you feel the same?”  
Yeosang was frozen. He had imagined, dreamed of this situation so often and now here they were and he knew he should say something, but when he opened his mouth the words wouldn't come out. All he could do was stare in Seonghwas eyes.  
“Sangie, Please. Say something”  
Hell, he needed to do something. But no words came out of his mouth. So instead, he took The older´s hand in his and placed it over his heart that was beating like crazy.  
‘It beats just for you’ he thinks and prays that Seonghwa understands.  
And by the way his eyes blow wide, he thinks he does.  
“Sangie…” he whispers.  
Yeosang just smiles softly, he still doesn't trust his voice.  
“Baby, can I- uh- can I kiss you?” he asks and it's so soft and shy that Yeosang is sure he would have died on the spot.  
He nods.  
And then, when Seonghwas lips brush against his, the world stops spinning. It's not the kiss itself, not really, it's just the knowledge that he isn't alone with this. That someone like Seonghwa chose him. He feels like coming home and like finally – finally being whole, as cliché as it might be.  
Seonghwa rests his forehead against the younger’s and exhales.  
“I like you too” Yeosang finally manages to say. Seonghwa giggles.  
“Damn, lucky me then, would have been a shame if you didn't. Cos I really hoped you would.”  
“I do. I like you a lot”  
Seonghwa hummed in agreement  
They stayed like this for a moment, drinking in the feeling.  
Then  
“Sangie, please be my boyfriend”  
And for the first time in the past few months, he wasn't afraid.  
“Fuck yes,” he said and giggled.  
“Oh thank god. I'm not sure I would have survived if you hadn't-”  
But he never got to finish his sentence because Yeosang efficiently shut him up by leaning in and kissing him.  
It was slow and soft. Seonghwas hand came to rest in his neck and he adjusted the angle ever so slightly and heck yes, this was just – right-.  
It felt like the world was finally falling into place when Seonghwas lips almost cherished his and when his tongue – god damn his tongue- dragged across his bottom lip.  
Yeah, Yeosang though. He really could get used to this...


End file.
